Sunday, January 22, 2012

The Lesser Weevil: A Comparison of Candidates

People are having difficulty choosing a candidate.  Perhaps this comparison will be of some assistance:

Mitt Romney:  He’s the Strawberry root weevil, frequently confused with a tick.  Is he a weevil or is he a tick?  Is he conservative or is he not?  He says he’s a weevil, maybe he’s really a tick.

Rick Santorum: Is a boll weevil, focusing mostly on cotton, particularly of the sweater vest variety.

Newt Gingrich: is a rice weevil, able to take flight and is into everything.  He is a very well rounded (no pun intended) weevil.
 
Ron Paul: He’s the weevil from the “Torchwood” TV show. “Weevils are thought to be extraterrestrial in origin, but a population of a few hundred live in the sewers of Cardiff, having travelled through a space-time rift running through the city. They usually live off sewage, but occasionally one will go rogue, come to the surface and attack humans using their sharp fangs.”  So while Ron Paul and his followers think that he is an viable weevil, they are mostly just confused.

Barack Obama: is W.E. (worst economy) Evil: immature grub-like, a temporary nuisance insinuating itself into everything.  W.E.(whacked-out Ebola) Evil and destroys all he touches  accomplishes nothing and is an ineffectual W.E. (waggishly ejaculate-less) evil.  In my opinion, it is best to stay away from the W.E. (worthless eel) Evil.

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