Sunday, October 2, 2011

Booze, Chews, and Schmooze

The Jewish Holidays through drink, food and fun!

 I know, I had you at booze!
Jews like a good party, lots of booze, chews and schmooze (drink, food, and conversation), blame Sarah.  After Isaac was born, he was circumcised and, you guessed it, Sarah held a big ‘ol shin dig. 

Rosh Hashana – Jewish New Year
None specific: My recommendation: Jack Daniels Honey
apples and honey for a sweet new year
Rosh Hashanah Greetings

L'Shanah Tovah Tikatevu
 Literal Hebrew to English Translation: "May you be inscribed (in the Book of Life) for a good year Often shortened to  "Shanah Tova" (Good Year).

Yom Kippur – Day of Atonement: you fast on this day
I’ll make the Yom Kippur lunch!
WARNING: drinking after fasting may cause extreme drunkedness and hilarity at your expense!
Breaking the fast: Anything goes!  Eating and drinking too much and too fast after fasting may be cause for prayer to a god of another kind (porcelain)
Gemar Chatimah Tovah
Literal Hebrew to English Translation: "May your final sealing (in the Book of Life) be good." This greeting is traditionally used between Rosh HaShanah and Yom Kippur. It wishes others well in the new year.

 Sukkot: Feastival of Booths, build a sukkah: live, eat and drink in the sukkah
Fall festival, also a time to remember when Moses and the Jews were wandering in the desert.
Any as long as it is consumed in the sukkah!
Usually fall fruits and vegetables, but any.  Again, it’s sukkah time!
Lively convo. In the sukkah. 

Chanukah, Hannukah, Hannuka, Hanukah… Any way you spell it, it’s the festival of lights.  Shorter Chanukah: The Temple was destroyed, Jews rebuilt, only enough oil for the eternal light for 1 day, takes 8 days to make new oil.  The oil lasted for the 8 days it took to make the new oil.  Shazam!!!
What goes well with fried food?  I’m thinking beer!  But any booze will dooze.
FRIED FOOD!  Chanukah is the time to stick it in Michelle Obama’s face and eat fried foods.  Latkes (potato pancakes), donuts, and anything else fried.
Chocolate gelt, can be used to gamble in the dreidle game.
Dreidle game
Play it online:
Note: Contrary to popular belief, Chanukah comes at the same time every year! (on the Hebrew calendar, which goes by the moon cycles not the solar cycle)

  Purim: The retelling of the story of Esther
Not only drunk, but so drunk that you cannot tell the difference between Haman and Mordechai
Hamantaschen  pastries in the shape of a triangle (Haman’s hat)
Retell the story of Ester and blot out i.e. clap, scream use groggers (noise makers) Haman’s name every time it is spoken
Dress up in a costume (traditionally as one of the characters in the story, but any costume will do)

If you can have Christmas in July, how about Purim in October??? 
L’Chaim: To Life!!

Pesach: Passover 
You are require to drink 4 glasses of wine during the seder
The seder.  The seder means order, retelling of the story with the use of wine and food:
Eat no levened bread, you must eat matzo.  When fleeing Egpt, there was no time to let the bread rise: voila! Matzo!
Eat horseradish/bitter herbs: to remember the bitterness of slavery
Eat egg: rebirth, renewal
Eat charoset.  Looks like mortar, it’s supposed to remind us of the bricks the slaves had to make.  Apples, nuts, cinnamon and lots of wine.  (yeah,baby! More wine!)
The retelling of the story of Moses freeing the Jews from Slavery in Egypt. You all know the story
(see “The Ten Commandments” starring Charlton Heston)

In General:
Booze is great!!!
Food is good!!!
Shalom: Hello, Good Bye, Peace

Yom Tov ~ this one can be used on any holiday
Literal Hebrew to English Translation: "Good Day."  Or the Yiddish: "Gut Yuntiff," which means "Good Yom Tov" or "Good Holiday."

Shabbat: The Sabbath (sundown Fri. to sundown Sat.)
Wine: usually that sickening sweet Manaschewitz grape wine, but don’t whine about it, any grape wine will do.
Challah ~ you know, braided egg bread. The stuff some people call holly bread.
Also Shabbat dinner
Friday night Oneg: dessert
Saturday Kiddush: lunch
Shabbat Shalom: Sabbath Peace

When to Booze, Chews and Schmooze this year:

Jewish Holidays 5772
Dates in 2011-2012
Rosh HaShana  New Year
September 29-30, 2011  Thurs-Fri
Yom Kippur   Day of Atonement
October 8, 2011  Sat
Sukkot   Festival of Booths
October 13-19, 2011  Thurs-Wed
December 21-28, 2011  Wed-Wed
March 8, 2012  Thurs
Pesach  Passover
April 7-14, 2012   Sat-Sat
Israel: April 7-13, 2012  Sat-Fri

1 comment:

  1. This is a great calendar to follow the holidays by.